Stopping to take a look around before I go.

Monday, October 11, 2004

Things are not what they seem... First, the Sponge basically opened the door for us Friday night. Can we all say - told you so?! And then, after driving 3 1/2 hours to get there...leaving work early to do so...she basically tells us to get out. WTF?! Yep, she had all the lights off and was in bed and came out and acted like she was SO put out to have to scoop Shepherd's Pie out of the Costco container it came in onto a plate for us. As soon as we had eaten...she suggested we leave for the evening. Well, nothing was going on there! My dad was acting weird, she WAS weird and I just wanted out. So we took Evan and went to town. Ended up at the Apollo Theatre's Haunted Theatre...which was surprisingly extremely well done and very entertaining. Well worth the $20 we dropped to get in! We came back at a little past 9:00 and they were both in bed...my dad came out and made small talk but she kept calling him back. Anthony kept telling me to stop giving her dirty looks but you know...I don't have TIME to just swoop down for a few hours and be treated like the red-headed stepchildren. I come to spend time with my dad...go out and have dinner, see the bar, BE with him! But when she's around, he's like a lovesick teenager or more accurately, they were fighting and he just REALLY didn't want me to hear ANY of it. Sigh. My brother in law brought the baby over. She's cute - looks just like Evan did at that age! The Sponge kept saying she looked like my sister and well, since I look almost exactly like my sister, her refusal to acknowledge that plus how she kept harping that we should call the baby by my father's nickname when he was little really hammered it home how little she regards me. To her I simply don't fit in...I don't count. And we all KNOW what that does to my mood. I booked out at 4pm which was about 4 hours later than I wanted but the kids were having fun in the pool and outside so I grinned and beared it all.

Friday, October 08, 2004

Danger Will Robinson! I called my dad last night and either his brain leaked out everything he knew from the night before or a weird depression has set in and nothing matters. Sadly, I am going for the latter. It's a good thing I'll be there by 7:00 tonight. I can tell he misses the Sponge. This was how he got last Christmas when he asked, nay BEGGED, her to come back and the next thing I knew, there she was opening the door when I knocked. I seriously hope that doesn't happen tonight for various reasons. First, as you are well aware, I have her on skank alert. Face it, she just IS! Any woman who leaves saying she cannot take the abuse (zoom in on Scarlett O'Hara drama queen moment) anymore, calls a taxi and leaves...then reappears in the hotel room of not one but TWO equally skanky men...well, that's zero to skank in about one point two seconds in my book. The other reason is just that she's not a very nice person. With two daughters on Section 8 and a son who OD'd on heroin last year, she actually had the nerve to tell my father that HIS kids were "no account." I am not sure what she's basing that on but since I happen to be the one paying the taxes to allow her kids to live where they do...well, some things she should just keep to herself. It's not that I feel threatened because, truly, I don't. Our dad loves us...I mean for crying out loud, the code for his garage is our birthdates! He had a dog once whose given name was a combination of our names...the man is devoted to us despite what he may say or even some of the things he may do. But the last time I saw her, old Sponge-Butt nearly had a coronary because I turned off her 18 y/o daughter's nasty rap CD so Trev could watch Sponge-Bob on the movie-screen TV. I was told in no uncertain terms that Trev wasn't really GOOD enough to override HER daughter...he could go be locked in a dark room somewhere to watch TV if that's what he wanted. And if Old Auntie ME didn't like it...well, I could leave and never come back. Say WHAT? So for all those reasons and more I can't even verbalize like, say, my mother's picture being thrown to the rummage pile, well, I hope it's good riddance to bad, skanky trash! This may mean a dramatic lifestyle change. While it's been NICE, to say the least, not to have to drive 3 hours there and back on a Friday and Saturday...I'll pretty much have to about once a month in order to KEEP her away. My dad's manager, Mary Lou, says I should have been doing this all along. I probably should have. I just couldn't stomach the whole sordid mess. Another part of my dad's call involved my sister. He's worried she won't "come back" as soon as possible. I can tell he misses her too. And whereas the night before he had said that Kay had the kids...now he says that Joe has taken them all back and is sitting in his trailer smoking dope and won't answer the phone. I can guarantee you that if I don't get to see my niece Baby What's-in-a-name...well, I'll return the little pink outfit I bought since by the time I DO see her, she won't be able to wear it...and I'll be pretty upset. In Joe's defense though, while my dad refuses to see it, he does take care of the kids. I have seen MANY a day where my sister just sits there, almost catatonic, and does nothing. The kids were clean and fed and loved because of Joe....certainly not my sister. So we'll see what happens. My dad asked what we'd like for dinner and decided upon steak...that should be good. After that, who knows. Maybe he and Anth can go out like they used to. Either way, I don't know if we'll see the new baby or not. This is just a really sad situation all the way around.

#8000 - You're the winner, come on down! Whoever visits me from cox.net, you were the 8000th visitor to my little site!!! Leave me a note, I'd love to be able to say thanks!!! Thanks to everyone else for hanging with me...I don't exactly feel like I have my mojo back yet, but I am sure it will come!

Thursday, October 07, 2004

WV Bound We're headed down to West Virginia tomorrow to meet the new baby. My dad called last night all full of his old self and some wine and even managed to tell my husband that he loved him. Oh how I hope the Sponge is permanently out of the picture!!! It's so nice to have my old dad back...the one who liked to chat about football and baseball and politics when we talked. The one who didn't disappear for weeks on end and then after I'd chase him down on the phone sound angry or impatient with everything. So he wants us to come "meet the Girl." Ivy or Beth or whatever everyone calls her...I personally won't have much of an opinion until we meet her...is staying with Kay who used to be my mom's best friend. It's kind of nice that despite all the grief my dad gave her and all the crap my brother in law gives her that Kay is still devoted to my mother and willing to help our family. The baby was released at the same time Tami was doing the backstroke around Lake Crazy. They decided to keep her for the usual 30-days. I am not even sure right now if she even knows she HAD a baby. The problem with that is the same problem she had with Trever...she never really bonded with him. When you see them interact, it's kind of like she isn't sure how he got there but she knows she's stuck with him. She LIKES him, she maybe even loves him...but there isn't that deep emotional bond I have with Evan or that even she has with PJ. I hope it isn't that way with the daughter she wanted really badly. My dad is absolutely head-over-heels in love with the baby. It's cute to see. He wants to call her "Beth" - he always was soft on little girls. Evan is excited to be going. The Year of the Sponge produced only a few visits mainly because we couldn't stand her, the filth she insisted on living in or her morally-questionable daughter who did everything from smoking pot to having sleepovers with her boyfriends in the basement. I wasn't exactly wild about Evan sitting in the kitchen having eggs while Ms. Thang and Mr. Right Now wandered up the steps on their way to high school. Evan, more than any of us, missed his grandpa. When I asked him once who his perfect father would be, he said it would be grandpa. I had to back that one up...did he seriously mean the man who beat me with a razor strap? The man who was crazy when crazy wasn't cool? The man who abandoned us in a hotel room in Florida once? HIM? Yes, I mean, I understand he has reformed...done teshuva...made amends and I am square with that. And my son's adoration of him is the payoff he gets for really trying hard to be a better person. And that's worth it. It actually makes me happy that Evan loves his grandpa as much as he does. So more on Monday when we get back...maybe even some pictures too!

Monday, October 04, 2004

Stork One has Landed Ivy Bethann was born on Friday night, October 1, 2004 around 11:00 p.m. She weighed 8 lbs. 8 oz. and sported a headful of golden curls, announced her proud father on Saturday morning. I don't have too many details other than by Friday morning it was apparant to all that my sister's mental health was precarious at best. By noon, they had convinced her to admit herself and as you can see, by 11:00 that night, they performed a c-section to get Ivy into the world. My sister gave her the middle name "Bethann" which is now a family tradition started by our mother. My middle name is "Joann", my sister's is "Susann" and now we have "Bethann." The "ANN" part comes from our grandmother, Ivy's great-grandmother, our mother's adoptive mother - our Mom-Mom. The best part is the baby was born on Mom-Mom's birthday. She would have been 87. Our mom would have been 61. I talked to my sister on Saturday and I daresay she hardly even knew she had a baby much less anything else, which is sad. She is pretty bad. After we talked for a while she decided she hates me, which is fine, I guess. I've been hated by the best of them. Anyway, we'll be headed down Friday to greet our new niece and cousin. On a brighter note, so far so good with the Sponge who still remains AWOL. I hope she stays that way. My father is definitely in love with the little girl and insists he will call her "Beth" after my mother. He's convinced that's what my sister wants more than anything. I suspect it's what HE wants more than anything. I just hope my sister will soon be well enough to care for her brood. As it stands, I am not sure how it's all working. I fear "Beth" will be released WELL before Tami is and I am not even sure how Joe is managing PJ and Trever. In any event, Happy Birthday Ivy Bethann!

Friday, October 01, 2004

A Crazy Weekend Ahead The good news is that despite leaving the mall at 5:10 and hitting a killer traffic snarl on my way through the 'Burg, I did manage to make it to get Evan at 5:30. I didn't think I would and panic-called Anthony at 5:20 but I did make it - with a minute to spare. Evan, naturally, was flirting with some older girls when I got there...true to form. I know I said I had brownies to bake but after spending most of the night before and then a good part of today on the phone with my sister...I didn't have the energy to even consider baking them. For crying out loud, I put pot pies in the oven for me and the boy and then she called AGAIN and they nearly burned when I forgot about them! Fortunately, I had a feeling Betty-Crockery was beyond me, so I bought two dozen mini-cupcakes to offer at the oneg tonight. The bad news is that my sister is really teetering on the brink of something. She called crying hysterically yesterday afternoon. Dummy me had on the cell phone at work (I leave it on since Anth has a cell for work and being in-network, we can talk for free) and answered it. Thirteen minutes and some change later, she was calmed down. She called later and left a message thanking me for listening. Then she called again when I had just put dinner into the oven and talked so fast I could hardly understand her. I started to get REALLY worried. She says they're now worried about her smoking and suddenly, she is too. She said she had lied that she's only smoking 1 pack a day when in reality, it's closer to 3. WTF???? She's worried NOW???? Well, whatever. I can't let myself get dragged under trying to hold her up. I know my sister and if you carry her a foot, she'll let you carry her a mile. I feel sorry for her but a lot of it is what she made of it and I know in my heart that if she could do it again, she'd do it all the same way. It's hard to really want to go above and beyond when you know what you do is as valuable as water in a toilet.